Yes We Fuck
By Antionio Centeno
There are many ways of existing in the world. Some people move with the elegance of a cat, some others move like electrons over magnetic fields on their wheelchairs. For some eyes, the light can recognize images with celestial precision whilst to other eyes, the universe is simplified to a tone and its peace. The vibration of the air triggers melodies on some ears, and others orchestrate the silence of sipping bees.
No matter how you look at it, one of the intrinsic characteristics of the idea of humanity is its diversity. Particularly, functional diversity its an indisputable reality: the different ways of functioning, of doing the things in our interaction with the world, with others and with ourselves. However, not every way of being is well accepted. Society has been conceived as if everyone moves, looks, listens, perceives and understands in the same way.
And it is worse than that. As if the idea of transforming spaces and social processes into homogenizing machines were desirable to produce a kind of «normal human» to get away with all the uncertainly and complexity that diversity creates, in exchange of loosing all its creative potential.
As a way of resistance to those normalizing processes, we, some of the people who are suffering systematic and systemic discrimination for our functional differences, have been naming ourselves as «people with functional diversity».
“Yes, we fuck!”
The successful evolutionary response of human being to its extreme fragility (we born with soft cranium bones so a huge but immature brain can go through the pelvic canal) has been always related to community and cooperation between beings.
We have been gathering empiric evidence about how social processes get the best results for the whole population when they include human diversity in general and functional diversity specifically. Examples of this are the transportation, urbanism, pedagogy, architecture… Thinking on the different functional ways of human being we have reached a safer and more comfortable transport, a more habitable urbanism, a pedagogy with more and better tools, a more friendly architecture, etc.
These benefits are for everyone, not only for functional diverse people, but it’s the presence of this people what has been used as inspiration and as incentive to give everyone a better life.
Everything indicates that should happen the same on the field of sexuality: if everyone fucks we all fuck better. Can you imagine how it could be to include all kinds of bodies, all the ways of moving, feeling, understanding on the -until now- narrow territories of pleasure and desire? It seems to be a pending revolution over there. It is a revolution because it smashes the coitus-centric heterosexuality that kidnaps our bodies and desires..
This is the political potential that gives sense to a project as the documentary “Yes, we fuck!”, a look over six stories about the sexuality of people with functional diversity. It questions human beings about our relationship with our bodies and with other bodies, through desire and pleasure.
Spanish Sexual Assistance and Prostitution
Two of the stories on the documentary are centered on sex work; one is about sexual assistance and the other about inclusive prostitution. It is not the same thing, even if the share the fact of being forms of sex work with a great empowering potential, as well for people with functional diversity and the workers.
Sexual assistance is help to get sexual access to the own body. Recognize it, explore it, masturbate it, are action that usually people do by themselves, but some people with functional diversity need the support of the sexual assistant to do it. In the same way, sexual assistance could bring support before, during or after having sexual practices with someone else. Definitely, the sexual assistant is not someone to have sex with, but someone who helps you to have sex with yourself or someone else.
So, if sexual assistance empowers you breaking the border of sexual access to your own body, inclusive prostitution empowers facilitating the experimentation, the play and the enjoyment of sharing sex with other bodies. Sexual assistance is essential just for some functional diverse people and it is a fundamental right that should be funded by the State. Inclusive prostitution could be for everyone and it does not generate obligations to the public powers further on guarantee workers rights.
So, they are different jobs on their roles, expectations, possible practices, people addressed by them, and their configuration as a right, but they are complementary on the process of opening the possibilities so people with functional diversity could live our own body and the link with the others from desire and pleasure.
Everyday stories. You fuck as you live and you live as you fuck
As it happens with the majority of the population, the experience of sexuality of functionally diverse people should be developed mainly further on sex work, on the daily spheres of friendship, couples, polyamorous relations, casual sex, etc. We know that today is not like that, there remains an obvious inequality generated by the material and symbolic barriers.
In this sense, statements made in our country such as “there are people with functional diversity who can only fuck paying for it” are biased and play the sad role of the prophecy that becomes true reinforcing the stereotypical that throws out functionally diverse people from the pleasures on daily fields.
The documentary shows two stories related to daily life, from the idea of “you fuck as you live and you live as you fuck”. If you have you own life (something impossible living in an institution or with your family in charge) and you can assume that freedom comes with responsibilities, establishing free links of domination relations, it is very likely that you also develop an equally free, rich and pleasant sexual life. And, reciprocally, if you live a free, rich and pleasant sexual life, you will develop an implacable will to achieve a life of your own, and independent life.
We must understand that an “independent life” doesn’t mean to do the things without support but to have responsibility and control over the necessary supports to freely become linked to the others. The denial of the right to a self-determinated life goes together with the denial of the right to have a full and free sexual life, both feedback on each other.
Both women with functional diversity and people with intellectual diversity have suffered more than anyone the weight of that double denial, and because of that the stories of daily life portrayed on the documentary are about a woman with physical diversity and a group of young people with intellectual diversity.
Postporn and Female Ejaculation. Getting our bodies back
Until now, we have emphasized the connection between the daily independent life of people with functional diversity and the experience of an independent sexuality, highlighting the empowering role of sexual assistance and inclusive prostitution. The other two stories of “Yes, we fuck!” are about workshops centered around the importance of reclaiming our bodies; one is about postporn and functional diversity and the other about female ejaculation.
Postporn, is a political tool that seeks to recycle the powerful subjectivity creator machine that porn is. It tells us about a diverse sexuality of the bodies, the desires and the practices, free of sexism and ableism, an empowering sexuality for the marginal beings, not coitus-centric and abled to sexualize the whole body. Definitely, this is the ideal audiovisual language to create a new collective imagination about the sexuality of people with functional diversity through an auto-representation that makes possible the transition from being objects to serve the sight of others to being subjects declaring our own desires and pleasures.
The act of making visible female ejaculation reclaims the knowledge from the flesh experience and the recovery of women’s bodies for pleasure, for a sexuality beyond reproduction. When on this workshop participates a blind woman we can clearly see the common struggle that feminism and people with functional diversity share. We both want to depathologize our bodies and rescue them for a pleasure that seems worthless to the eyes of others.
Further on the audiovisual product that resulted from linking together these six stories, the process of making the documentary has have a value itself. It has generated a space of meeting for different political movements related to body an sexuality: feminisms, transfeminisms, functional diversity, LGTB, sex workers, fat activism… A context of radical resistance on which who have been for a decade naming ourselves as “people with functional diversity” have started to call ourselves “crip”, as queer people has been doing for a long time with the word “queer”
Meeting all together, projects have emerged such as “Pornotopedia” (collaborative design of accessible sex toys), “Nexos” (crip postporn short-film), “Assex” (a self-managed group for sexual assistance) or “The Mutant Pic-nics” (playful meetings between queer and crip communities). It is true that there are difficulties on this “coming together” processes due to the lack of spaces that are accessible and friendly with the queer people at the same time. But the affinity on the ideas and the flourishing personal connections that are being made, point to a deep alliance that has just started.
We have related ideas because we share similar life experiences that have a relation with having suffered the pain of a view that despises difference, that makes a pathology of it to remove its political content and then corner it and smash it on that dark alley that is the field of the “personal”. We are not going to allow that to continue, we have gathered to walk the path together, to rescue all the potential of our bodies, of our vulnerability, to celebrate the difference and re-politicize inequality. It is proceeding slowly, but perhaps that is because it is going far.